Day 11 Prompt:
FAIL: What just didn’t work out this year? Is that okay with you? Or are you going to try, try again?
I had to think long and hard about this one. Actually over a couple days to figure out what to write about. I don’t really like the idea of failure. Maybe I’d do a few things differently. Maybe I learned a few lessons. But as long as I gave my 100% effort…… insert face palm splat against my forehead! That’s it! What’s been irking me, not as a complete failure, but definitely not a success, is my inability to give 100% of myself to… well anything.
I knew that life pre-baby was not going to be sustainable after-baby. Something would have to give, and it was likely going to be my committment to not just teaching gym classes, but growing them, marketing them, being the champion for that program, etc. I’m still teaching classes and loving it. I come prepared and give everything I have during that timeslot. But compared to where I was a few years ago, I just feel like I’m having to HALF-ASS it.
Case in point, I was given a few opportunities to launch new programs/class formats at gyms. I was leading the way, trying to entice members to try them out, creating a community of participants and instructors, and giving my all to ensure the success of these programs. And then… I got pregnant, couldn’t keep up with 5 programs, 4 gyms and all the work that goes into it. Then I went on maternity leave. Then I came back and… poof! All that momentum, gone. Those classes/programs were not a success. Not to say that I’m the only reason… it truly takes a village. But I feel a bit like a failure, like I wish I could have worked harder, that it wouldn’t have happened on my watch. That I could finish what I started.
Would I have done things differently? Ha, no I wouldn’t trade my baby girl for anything!
Am I going to try again? Sure. But I’m going to have to be very choosy. Focus my energy on one or two programs, and build a team to support me. While I would like to be Wonder Woman, I’m not. The time will eventually come where I can devote more time or re-visit a few things. In the meantime, I need to pick my battles and censor my eagerness a bit. Because in the end, I’d rather not do something at all than do it halfway.